It was SO much better than watching grass grow . . .

We all live in the digital era. We take pictures on our cell phones and send them to each other in an instant. We can fit a TON of images on one tiny memory chip and not have to worry about ruining our vacation pics going through airport security. I don't even have to wait an hour to see if my double chins are showing in that last shot!

And yet WHY am I so sad to say goodbye to my I-Zone?? I knew it was coming.

Shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture! How much fun it was to shake and shake and watch the image appear? *sigh*

When I read that Polaroid will stop making instant film, I immediately went online to stockpile on film for my oh-so-much-party-fun I-Zone cameras. I discovered that I wasn't the only one. $20 (+ s&h) for 12 images? Yeah, no. It's time to say goodbye now.

Goodbye classic Polaroids. Goodbye my first i-zone camera and my second with the interchangeable color plates. How I loved you. The instant fun. The sticker film. The FORTUNE cookie film that told you your fortune while you waited for the image to develop. *sniff* Polaroid, you rocked my world.

Joe Camel is NOT my friend!

I'm a quitter . . . again. It's embarrassing for me to admit, because I KNOW it's a stupid habit and I know it's smelly and not healthy or wise, but I am a smoker. (Or if I remain strong: I WAS a smoker).

I first started smoking after I turned 21 and spent a considerable amount of time in bars and clubs listening to bands and inhaling everyone else's smoke. My start was odd, I don't remember it being a conscious decision, I just picked one up one day and the habit began.

I have a highly addictive personality. Sometimes I can actually use it to my advantage and addict myself to becoming a SUPER STAR . . . but most the time, not so good, not so healthy.

I have overcome a LOT in my many years and as I age the issues have been less drastic (whew!) BUT why must I always maintain SOME sort of self-destructive behavior? arg!

Anywho. I've "quit" smoking several times in my life. I did officially quit when training for my FIRST MARATHON and raising funds for the American Stroke Association (makes sense, right?) and I managed to stay quit for several years. I had the occasional clove with a friend here and there - a puff at a nightclub, whatevah. But then one day it just came back. With a passion.

My world has made it SO convenient for me to quit. No longer am I surrounded by smoke when I go out - you have to make an effort and find a spot outside to smoke now. Most of my friends have quit. I changed jobs and vowed to NEVER smoke while at work or in front of co-workers. It's flippin expensive and getting moreso every single day. I'm surrounded by health articles and ads telling me it's not healthy. I continued to train, hike and workout. All good things.

And yet, if I have a pack . . . I'm gonna smoke it. And I love it. And I look forward to getting home and having one. It's ridiculous really. Like aging itself hasn't been tough enough on my ego, I have to speed the process of advancing wrinkles? I've been "quitting" since last year - and refuse to buy 2 packs when they have a special promotion, because every pack is my last pack.

Anyway. I'm ready. I am now 7 days free. And I've almost overcome the desire to kick people in the teeth when they smile at me and say "hi" :-) My thoughts are still obsessed with the process and the emptiness and the fact that I am without. But that will pass (soon, right?). I actually TRIED the full health route and started the diet AND the quit program at the same time last week . . . NOT good for the well-being of the general public.

Maybe the diet can start NEXT week . . .

I made it through Friday night - a bottle of wine and some house chores. That was difficult, because I always feel I deserve it as a wind-down after a tough week.

Finally Saturday, I started to feel strong - I had made it through the week. Then the mail came. Oh look! A package from Camel cigarettes (I signed up once at a bar and got a FREE pack and they always remember me). Of course, the smart thing to do would have been to just THROW it out. But what if they gave me something cool inside? So I opened it. Nice packaging and then as I opened the flap - I see a FLIPPING BOX OF CIGARETTES! My mind was racing . . . . what to do? Have one?? Run over to my neighbor and give it to her smoker roommate? I started rationalizing. It was the classic cartoon battle of the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. Even my dogs were staring at me in alarm because I was clearing having an issue with something in my hands . . .

Long story short. My logic told me - they CAN'T send free cigarettes in the mail, can they? I shook the package and it was light. Inside the pack was a coupon. WHEW. I threw it all away and resisted my urge to haul ASS to Circle K.

All I know is Joe Camel is NOT my friend and this is another week. I can DO it.

People actually SAY these things??

Customer Service at its finest . . .
Clerk when looking at my ID with people in line behind me: “Oh, you cut your hair. You shouldn’t have done that. You look much better in this picture.”
Me: “Well, I was younger and thinner, too. Can’t do a lot about that.”

Words of Wisdom from Co-Worker After 10th Cigarette Break and leaving at 4:30: “Amy, what you really need to do is lower people’s expectations of you. Then YOU could go home, too.”

Best Ever Bedside Manner
Specialist after seeing my ultrasound and fibroids and after a faulty and painful attempt to remove a polyp: “When we go into surgery and I get the fibroids and remove your uterus, I can just pop on down and get the polyp too...”
Me: shock, tears, gasp
Her: "Oh, you weren’t expecting that?”
Seriously, couldn’t you ask first if I planned to USE my parts someday?? I'm nearing 40 but still have a few years to go! Discuss a couple options maybe? sheeesh.

What kind of story am I?

You know how it goes . . . you finish your day at work and EVERYONE bugged you and EVERYBODY ELSE is an idiot. And it’s not just a feeling – they really DID ask some dim-witted questions and made some bonehead decisions. Your friends confirm that by their reactions as you re-tell the tales.

Seriously, how do some of these people survive the drive into work each day? I really wonder. You would think the basic functions of an alarm clock would hinder their arrival time (in some cases, I believe it does). I have a friend who works in the event audio/visual industry and SHE has some doozy stories!

But then as I go through my evening calls – or sit around a table with friends over a bottle of wine – I realize that we ALL have these crazy stories. Is it just because we’re all in management level jobs – is it because I only surround myself with people who are RIGHT in a world surrounded by wrong? ha! Or is it possible that maybe we’re NOT the always-right heroes in our co-workers stories after hours. Am I the only one who sees this cape I wear?

It really makes me wonder what role I play in their stories (if any) and how the same day can be so different to so many people. I mean, I’m fully aware that I can be a ding-a-ling so I wouldn’t be surprised if I came out a little low in a few stories . . . but overall, I wonder where I stand? Where do you think YOU stand?

It's all about ME!

Happy Valentine's Day! Should I care that I'm single on yet another mushy Valentine's Day?? NAH. Because according to the newspaper tomorrow is . . . .

I LOVE AMY DAY!



I posted it on my office door at work and told people I expected all to celebrate. I didn't doctor the ad to put my name as some suspected - I DID make her hair a little more red, though . . . just to make it feel a little more ME.

Let's see if I have any nibbles . . . .

Oh, and it's also my girl Michelle's Birthday - my crazy roller derby Michelle. I made THIS to post on her MySpace site:



It's a little montage of Me, Diane, Pat & Sean in Sierra Vista on Halloween. I decided to be Michelle for the night - and we all took turns playing in her bad *beep!* helmet!

Back in Black

I love my black wardrobe. Why? Besides the fact that we're told black is a slimming color, it's also VERY durable.

Spills! Chances are, I'm going to spill my morning coffee, my lunch or SOMETHING on myself at some point during the day. Black hides that (except for the occasional powdered donut mishap).

Wrinkles! I'm a wrinkly person. No, I'm not a Shar Pei but my clothes CAN ressemble one at the end of the day. I don't know what I do, but I seemed to be more wrinkled and rumpled than anyone I know. I used to think it was my choice in clothing but once a friend at work and I accidentally bought the same pair of pants. We were in the bathroom at the same time one day and I looked at her pants and mine. Mine, covered in crotch and waist wrinkles. Hers, fresh. What is is about me??

Sweat! I hate to admit the sweat part - but I live in Arizona and it gets hot. We sweat. Sometimes I have to walk across the corporate campus meetings. Light blue cotton shirts? Show your sweaty parts. Black? Not so much. If only it would work on my brow . . .

I had an old boss that pointed out he thought the Web Department wore all black so no one would notice if they didn't make it home overnight to change clothes. (You'd think he'd worry about the fact that his workload sometimes caused 24-hour shifts, but no . . . )

Yesterday I realized one more great thing about my mostly black wardrobe. People freak out when you wear color! I got creative in brown this Monday and people went out of their way to come upstairs to my office and let the compliments fly. (Why THANK you!)

Today - I was back in black. Not one comment - not one look. Back to normal!

Getting Stuff Posted!

My Chile adventures are officially online:
http://www.getjealous.com/aimswa27

And my Chile photo album:
http://picasaweb.google.com/aimswa/Chile2007

This weekend's goal: My Grecian marathon adventure 2006