I've been GOOD. So good. So good I should have a reward! What's the reward? I don't know. I'm supposed to say my health and happiness, but I've had a hard time pulling that out of the bag these days. BUT it's getting better.
I mentioned last week that I've been having a lot of trouble working out. I feel like I'm getting slower and slower even though I'm putting 3x the effort I did last year. I had a mini meltdown at the top of the mountain -- it was a tough climb only to discover I was minutes slower than ever.
When I work out I have trouble catching my breath and I just feel like I have NO energy. You know the "my legs feel like logs" feeling? I feel like that most of the the time.
Last week I got frustrated and went into the doctor and told her to test me for everything: Thyroid, hormones, iron, breathing, the gamut. I took a breathing test and the machine said I have the lungs of a 44-year-old (I'm 41) and I thought that wasn't bad for someone who used to smoke and lead a very unhealthy life.
She said she hoped it was something easy like thyroid that she could easily treat but also warned me that it could simply be stress and overtraining.
Today GOOD NEWS! I went back to "Brokedown Mountain" this morning and made it up to the top in 20:45 which is a solid 3+ minutes faster than my mini breakdown last week and a PR (personal record) for me. My goal last summer when running/climbing this trail was 20 minutes and now that goal is finally within reach. YEA! We did a little extra trail running after that and I managed to stay on the heels of the other girls (I'm usually falling pretty far behind) and so I FEEL GREAT. Maybe I'm finally turning the corner and my body is going to start figuring out how to use the simple foods I'm putting in it and convert it to actual normal energy.
Then more GOOD NEWS (I think)! The doctor's assistant called with my lab results and told me everything looks normal: hormones, thyroid, iron, RA, celiac, etc. I have an elevated white blood cell count from some sort of infection but that's it. It's great news and yet ... if nothing's wrong with me, what's wrong with me??
Who works out as much as me and doesn't lose weight? Why am I so tired? Why don't I feel like I can push through? I'm hovering between two mentalities at this point: 1) Nothing's wrong with you - suck it up and keep pushing! 2) It must be stress and overtraining - I need rest.
I don't think I'm in a position to scale back and really embrace the "rest" concept. I'm committed to some races and I need to keep training. But I don't want to risk injury either.
I'm going to have to TRUST that the Paleo thing will eventually start doing its thing and keep going with it. My body has proven time and time again it is stubborn in many ways and I'm impatient for results. Patience. Press on.
I NEED to find a way to get more sleep and balance. This has to be a focus for me the next two months - so I'm scaling back on anything not work or training. This means the Charity Chicks 5K I was hoping to throw together might become a late winter/early spring idea.
I'm going to UP the miles slightly during the week to work on a consistent base and not drastically increase my weekend long runs like I had planned. I'm going to have to trust that I can use that base to push through the long distances on race day rather than forcing myself to do those distances. This goes against most training plans I've been trying to follow, but it will have to do.
I have to STRETCH. I need to use my foam roller every night. I need to use my massage credits and get my butt in for more massages as I continue this training. I know - crazy goal to have to make, huh? But getting a massage is HARD for me. I have to find a blank night to schedule it. I have to remember to make the appointment. It's now almost 2 hours (drive, check in, wait, get massage, drive home) that I can't do anything else AND I usually get the sniffles after massages which means I do little else when I get home. But I have credits - I will use them!
I have to keep pushing and stop stressing. What's the point of running if it's causing me stress?
Why do I run? I love the company. I love doing something good for me. I love doing something hard and accomplishing it. I love that it is me time to not be working. I love that I can sweat my stress away. I love the feeling when I'm done. I love feeling alive. That must be my motivation! (Well, that and the Tiffany necklace at the Nike Women's finish line in October!)
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Brokedown Mountain
Met some of my Cholla Chick friends at the base of one of our trail runs this morning and had yet another difficult workout. I'm getting slower and slower it seems the harder I work and the more I pay attention to being good to my body. WHEN DO I GET MY REWARD?
I got to the top minutes slower than ever and just broke down and had a small bawlfest. I wonder what the point is of missing all this sleep and working through all the pain if there isn't going to be progress? My wonderful wonderful friends continue to point out the progress that I can't see and I know I need to be a better friend and not such a Debbie Downer. My knees hurt, my calves hurt, my house is messy, I'm behind at work ... Must. Keep. Pressing. On.
Maybe a simple goal this week would be to get at least 6 hours sleep 2 nights in a row. Screw the running times, I should count sleep hours?
Off to another crazy day at work!
I got to the top minutes slower than ever and just broke down and had a small bawlfest. I wonder what the point is of missing all this sleep and working through all the pain if there isn't going to be progress? My wonderful wonderful friends continue to point out the progress that I can't see and I know I need to be a better friend and not such a Debbie Downer. My knees hurt, my calves hurt, my house is messy, I'm behind at work ... Must. Keep. Pressing. On.
Maybe a simple goal this week would be to get at least 6 hours sleep 2 nights in a row. Screw the running times, I should count sleep hours?
Off to another crazy day at work!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Still going ...
It's already Day 9 of my 30-Day Challenge and I'm still going strong. Despite the stress at work and despite the fact that my neighbor office has a giant bag of Peanut M&Ms that calls out to me every single time I go in and out of my office, I have not had chocolate NOR Diet Coke for the past 9 days ... pretty amazing!
Good things:
Tough things:
And I'm enjoying my meals. Tonight: Turkey burger with Guacamole and steamed asparagus. The turkey burger: ground white meat turkey, egg, almonds ground in the food processor, chopped onions, chopped sweet peppers and a little ranch seasoning. YUMMY.
I think I might have gone a little too heavy on the fruit and nuts and not heavy enough with the vegetables. So this week I'll be adjusting it a bit. It's all a learning curve! Pressing on ...
Good things:
- I'm proud of myself for remaining strong and on-plan.
- I haven't been hungry or feeling seriously deprived
- The Diet Coke thing hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. Sparkling water gives me happy bubbles and that is getting me through it.
Tough things:
- Convenient food is off the list. I have to be prepared.
- My body needs to learn to create energy in this new food plan. My run on Saturday SUCKED. My hike on Sunday SUCKED. Perhaps it was due to some other things going on with my body (aka female stuff)
- Nothing on the scale has changed - really? Not ONE chocolate - running for miles, a 7 hour hike?? *sigh*
- My stomach still hates me and still feels bloated
And I'm enjoying my meals. Tonight: Turkey burger with Guacamole and steamed asparagus. The turkey burger: ground white meat turkey, egg, almonds ground in the food processor, chopped onions, chopped sweet peppers and a little ranch seasoning. YUMMY.
I think I might have gone a little too heavy on the fruit and nuts and not heavy enough with the vegetables. So this week I'll be adjusting it a bit. It's all a learning curve! Pressing on ...
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Why Am I Living in a Cave? -- Gone #Paleo
Okay, I'm not really living in a cave, I've merely committed myself to a personal challenge to follow the Paleo Diet for 30-days.
What is this crazy diet, you ask? Well, the Paleo Diet, otherwise known as the Caveman Diet or the Hunter-Gatherer Diet, is all about eating the way the cavemen would have before they invented McDonald's and figured out how to mill grains and make processed foods.
The "contemporary" Paleolithic diet consists mainly of grass-fed pasture raised meats, fish, vegetables, fruit, roots and nuts, and excludes grains, legumes, dairy products, salt, refined sugar and processed oils. Sounds pretty simple doesn't it? And a little restrictive if you're a Diet-Coke-guzzling, convenient-food-eating, chocolate-makes-my-afternoon-complete kind of girl!
But then again I always remember when I take the time to buy and prepare foods, I LIKE chicken off my grill! I love me some steamed vegetables. Fruits, nuts? Yes, please! I can do this!
But why? And why go hard-core right out of the gate? Don't many books/sites/blogs recommend easing into it? Sure, many do and that might be a recommended approach for many - BUT I'm kind of an addict by nature. If you let me continue with some things it gives me too much room. I know myself. If I can prove to myself I can make it through 30-days, then I can find a way to continue while balancing in other kinds of food as well.
And if I don't commit to go all the way, there is an excuse every single day. Birthday lunch here, going away party there, happy hour with old friend here, luncheon there ... there's nothing to stop me from making the whole month a cheat day if I didn't fight ALL temptations.
But why consider this as a diet option at all? Yes, I'm kind of following a trend. I started doing Crossfit workouts late last year and the Paleo Diet is something that community embraces and supports. The more I've read about it and the more success stories I've heard (more energy, skin better, allergies better, sleep better, waist fat reduced, etc, etc.) the more I realized it wouldn't hurt to give it a go.
I'm 41. I've been on and off from running over the years -- more injured than not the last few years. The magic of Crossfit gave me strength and self-healing enough to return to running. I'm running with new friends and going faster and doing more training miles than I ever have. I'm doing yoga or walking or biking or Crossfit WODs when I'm not running (sometimes sweating 2x a day!). And yet, I'm continuing to struggle with my weight - particularly belly fat.
I'm not smoking and I cut back on my Diet Coke and yet I still have trouble breathing sometimes when I'm running. My allergies have been driving me crazy from sinus pain to itching skin. I'm tired. My digestive system -- as it always has been -- is completely out of whack. I've gone on a few diet plans and lose a few pounds and then I'm stuck. And then I feel bloated. My body is driving me crazy.
So why not? I'm going to give this a go and see how I feel in 30 days. If it's working, I keep going. I determine what compromises I will allow myself so I can eat out occasionally or how frequently I allow myself a "moment". Maybe I slowly introduce a few things in that I felt I was missing and see if that changes anything? I don't know yet. First I need to climb this mountain.
I'm on Day 3 of my 30-Day adventure. No miracle cures yet! My skin is still itching ... I'm still having trouble with focus. But I just started.
I'm not hungry. I haven't had any major withdrawal problems yet. Yesterday was a rough day for me - completely overwhelmed with work and having trouble keeping myself focused and really wanted my 3 pm pick-me-up in the form of a silver and red frosty can. I listened to the office next to me as they opened the giant bag of peanut m&ms and talked at great length about them. But I did okay. I'm even off gum and mints right now too which is somewhere I might turn if I having a craving and interestingly enough, I'm okay there too.
I think I need to remove cashews as an option for me. In the pyramid of foods, lean protein is the base (and what I should eat the most of) followed by vegetables, then fruit, then nuts & fat. I might have been a little off-proportioned with the cashews yesterday and will watch that. Very important tool: sparkling water. I get the bubbles without the junk. Nice to keep on hand: lemons, jazzes up the constant stream of just water all day and makes a good flavoring on the steamed vegetables instead of butter. I'm happy to report it's going well.
P.S. according to my readings WINE (in of course appropriate quantities) is OKAY. Wine & Gluten-free beer - yippeee! Grok totally could have picked grapes and put them in a skin sack and made himself some tasty vino so why not me too?
Captain Cavewoman ... over and out on Day 3!
What is this crazy diet, you ask? Well, the Paleo Diet, otherwise known as the Caveman Diet or the Hunter-Gatherer Diet, is all about eating the way the cavemen would have before they invented McDonald's and figured out how to mill grains and make processed foods.
The "contemporary" Paleolithic diet consists mainly of grass-fed pasture raised meats, fish, vegetables, fruit, roots and nuts, and excludes grains, legumes, dairy products, salt, refined sugar and processed oils. Sounds pretty simple doesn't it? And a little restrictive if you're a Diet-Coke-guzzling, convenient-food-eating, chocolate-makes-my-afternoon-complete kind of girl!
But then again I always remember when I take the time to buy and prepare foods, I LIKE chicken off my grill! I love me some steamed vegetables. Fruits, nuts? Yes, please! I can do this!
But why? And why go hard-core right out of the gate? Don't many books/sites/blogs recommend easing into it? Sure, many do and that might be a recommended approach for many - BUT I'm kind of an addict by nature. If you let me continue with some things it gives me too much room. I know myself. If I can prove to myself I can make it through 30-days, then I can find a way to continue while balancing in other kinds of food as well.
And if I don't commit to go all the way, there is an excuse every single day. Birthday lunch here, going away party there, happy hour with old friend here, luncheon there ... there's nothing to stop me from making the whole month a cheat day if I didn't fight ALL temptations.
But why consider this as a diet option at all? Yes, I'm kind of following a trend. I started doing Crossfit workouts late last year and the Paleo Diet is something that community embraces and supports. The more I've read about it and the more success stories I've heard (more energy, skin better, allergies better, sleep better, waist fat reduced, etc, etc.) the more I realized it wouldn't hurt to give it a go.
I'm 41. I've been on and off from running over the years -- more injured than not the last few years. The magic of Crossfit gave me strength and self-healing enough to return to running. I'm running with new friends and going faster and doing more training miles than I ever have. I'm doing yoga or walking or biking or Crossfit WODs when I'm not running (sometimes sweating 2x a day!). And yet, I'm continuing to struggle with my weight - particularly belly fat.
I'm not smoking and I cut back on my Diet Coke and yet I still have trouble breathing sometimes when I'm running. My allergies have been driving me crazy from sinus pain to itching skin. I'm tired. My digestive system -- as it always has been -- is completely out of whack. I've gone on a few diet plans and lose a few pounds and then I'm stuck. And then I feel bloated. My body is driving me crazy.
So why not? I'm going to give this a go and see how I feel in 30 days. If it's working, I keep going. I determine what compromises I will allow myself so I can eat out occasionally or how frequently I allow myself a "moment". Maybe I slowly introduce a few things in that I felt I was missing and see if that changes anything? I don't know yet. First I need to climb this mountain.
I'm on Day 3 of my 30-Day adventure. No miracle cures yet! My skin is still itching ... I'm still having trouble with focus. But I just started.
I'm not hungry. I haven't had any major withdrawal problems yet. Yesterday was a rough day for me - completely overwhelmed with work and having trouble keeping myself focused and really wanted my 3 pm pick-me-up in the form of a silver and red frosty can. I listened to the office next to me as they opened the giant bag of peanut m&ms and talked at great length about them. But I did okay. I'm even off gum and mints right now too which is somewhere I might turn if I having a craving and interestingly enough, I'm okay there too.
I think I need to remove cashews as an option for me. In the pyramid of foods, lean protein is the base (and what I should eat the most of) followed by vegetables, then fruit, then nuts & fat. I might have been a little off-proportioned with the cashews yesterday and will watch that. Very important tool: sparkling water. I get the bubbles without the junk. Nice to keep on hand: lemons, jazzes up the constant stream of just water all day and makes a good flavoring on the steamed vegetables instead of butter. I'm happy to report it's going well.
P.S. according to my readings WINE (in of course appropriate quantities) is OKAY. Wine & Gluten-free beer - yippeee! Grok totally could have picked grapes and put them in a skin sack and made himself some tasty vino so why not me too?
Captain Cavewoman ... over and out on Day 3!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Today, I enter the cave ...
Today is Day One of my 30-Day Paleo challenge and I'm already unprepared! I've done the reading, made the lists and got wrapped up in too many weekend tasks to do the shopping. But I'm starting anyway. I sent Brad home with a bag of non-paleo temptations from my fridge and cupboard and I'm left with fruit & nuts.
The plan: fruit for breakfast. Almonds for snack. Subway salad for lunch. Shop straight after work. I will report my progress and sins (which I hope not to have) on this very blog spot!
If I go Cavewoman, should I stop shaving my legs?
The plan: fruit for breakfast. Almonds for snack. Subway salad for lunch. Shop straight after work. I will report my progress and sins (which I hope not to have) on this very blog spot!
If I go Cavewoman, should I stop shaving my legs?
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Starting Over ... again
I've decided to return to my much neglected blog ... and where to begin? Just starting over took a couple weeks. First things first ... we still are "One Girl, Two Dogs and a Mission" ... unfortunately. While away from this blog, a NEW dog joined our clan last year (more on him later) and we became a THREE dog household. But then a few months ago I lost my beautiful Anna.
Before I could start blogging, I had to create a new header and change Anna's picture for Mehmet. Crap, that was hard! Now she has her own spot on the sidebar.
I loved my childhood pets and I love my current puppies but there was something special about Anna. She had such a gentle soul. She didn't need constant attention but always kept her eye on me. When I was upset or crying, she was the first to notice and would come to my side and just look at me with those eyes.
Polly & Anna came to me as a package deal 9 years ago and literally changed my life. When they both came home with me as puppies, they had a bad case of kennel cough which a vet originally mistook as Anna having Parvo and told me then she might not live long. It was an emotional and an expensive start to our fabulous life together! Given her original prognosis, I guess I should be happy we had almost 9 years together -- but it was just too short.
A year or so ago after coming back from a teeth cleaning procedure, Anna's IV spot was slow to heal. And then we noticed that months after her summer haircut, her bountiful curls never grew back. It was then that the Vet diagnosed her with Cushing's Disease. We spent the next year battling it and trying treatment and watching her get thinner and thinner. Unfortunately she just didn't respond to the treatments that normally work for canine Cushing's disease. But even when battling it, she still maintained a zest for life and a love to walk. Right up until the day she spiraled downward. A day before my birthday this year, I had to make the hardest decision of my life and we said good-bye to her.
I'll never know if the disease and maybe a pituitary tumor had taken over or if we had slowly poisoned her with the last treatment dose - and that really kills me. But I can't go back and change or fix anything and so I just focus on the good times, the memories and all the love she gave me.
There is such an empty hole without her - wow! Thank GOD for Polly and Mehmet. I have no idea how I would have made it through those first few weeks if I didn't have two other furry family members to cuddle with and giggle at. I still feel like she's with us when we're walking in the park. She was a great dog - great companion and is greatly missed. I couldn't resurrect this blog without her remaining an important part of it.
Love you, Annabella!! xoxo
Before I could start blogging, I had to create a new header and change Anna's picture for Mehmet. Crap, that was hard! Now she has her own spot on the sidebar.
I loved my childhood pets and I love my current puppies but there was something special about Anna. She had such a gentle soul. She didn't need constant attention but always kept her eye on me. When I was upset or crying, she was the first to notice and would come to my side and just look at me with those eyes.
Polly & Anna came to me as a package deal 9 years ago and literally changed my life. When they both came home with me as puppies, they had a bad case of kennel cough which a vet originally mistook as Anna having Parvo and told me then she might not live long. It was an emotional and an expensive start to our fabulous life together! Given her original prognosis, I guess I should be happy we had almost 9 years together -- but it was just too short.
A year or so ago after coming back from a teeth cleaning procedure, Anna's IV spot was slow to heal. And then we noticed that months after her summer haircut, her bountiful curls never grew back. It was then that the Vet diagnosed her with Cushing's Disease. We spent the next year battling it and trying treatment and watching her get thinner and thinner. Unfortunately she just didn't respond to the treatments that normally work for canine Cushing's disease. But even when battling it, she still maintained a zest for life and a love to walk. Right up until the day she spiraled downward. A day before my birthday this year, I had to make the hardest decision of my life and we said good-bye to her.
I'll never know if the disease and maybe a pituitary tumor had taken over or if we had slowly poisoned her with the last treatment dose - and that really kills me. But I can't go back and change or fix anything and so I just focus on the good times, the memories and all the love she gave me.
There is such an empty hole without her - wow! Thank GOD for Polly and Mehmet. I have no idea how I would have made it through those first few weeks if I didn't have two other furry family members to cuddle with and giggle at. I still feel like she's with us when we're walking in the park. She was a great dog - great companion and is greatly missed. I couldn't resurrect this blog without her remaining an important part of it.
Love you, Annabella!! xoxo
Monday, February 1, 2010
Note to the manufacturers of meds for "lady pain"
Perhaps you should test the packaging a bit. Do you really think I want to struggle over freeing the pill from its little plastic bubble and have to resort to finding a sharp object which may cause me to cut the pill into pieces? Where's your social consciousness? Think of the neighbors!
Signed,
Crabby
Signed,
Crabby
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